fayzedandconfused | (no subject)

Me
hahaha ;;
ugh this conversation is reminding me that i'm always like LOL I SHOULD ESSAY ON WHY I ACTUALLY PLAY BREEZE AS BEING HALF-INTO GIRLS
then i never do

Jeeps
NO DO IT
DO ITTTT

Me
I SHOULD...

Jeeps
for meee

Me
when you put it that way

Jeeps
:)

Breeze is a character who is really confident in herself, at least most of the time. This reflects itself in the way that she speaks. She's likely to use phrasing that doesn't leave much to question, even during stressful situations. Even when she's in an awkward situation or one where she admits her own weaknesses, she speaks in a firm way that makes it clear that she wants to be viewed as capable.

From HUNGER:
Brianna: You want to dance?
Jack: I don't know how.
Brianna: Really?
Jack: Really.
Brianna: I could teach you.
…
Brianna: So come dance with me.
Jack: I uh… I have to go.
Brianna: No one will laugh at you. … Okay, fine, forget you. Jerk. Computer Jerk.

From PLAGUE:
Brianna: I don't like what I have to do here.
Quinn: Is this some kind of joke?
Brianna: Albert's dead. Murdered.
Quinn: What?
Brianna: He's dead. Sam and Dekka are off in the wilderness somewhere. Edilio's got the flu, he might die, a lot of kids have. A lot. And there are these, these monsters, these kind of bugs… no one knows what to call them… heading toward town. And I can't stop them!

When Brianna talks, there's not a lot of "maybe"s and "I might"s, even when she's saying she can't do something.

Breeze is also not a character who runs away from confrontation long-term. Even if something upsets her enough to make her take off, it's never permanently. She doesn't shy away from things, and her default response when she's upset is to get angry. Her reaction to getting shot? Angry. Her reaction to having to basically invite Caine back to Perdido Beach and save everyone? Angry. Her reaction when Jack turns her down at the club? Angry! We learn in FEAR, too, that despite making out with Jack and presumably still living with him, she's not averse to getting pissed off at him for a few days and then getting over it. It's just how she is.

When Dekka tells Breeze that she's into her, Breeze's response is to stand up super calmly, lie to everyone about what was just said, and then to basically run away forever. We see her later with Jack, making sure to have her hand on his shoulder while in Dekka's line of sight.

And then Breeze avoids Dekka for literally four months. FOUR MONTHS. And only has an actual conversation about Dekka's confession when Dekka forces her to.

At the start of this conversation, Breeze defaults to her usual GET MAD > TALK LIKE SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING stance:
Dekka: You don't love Jack. You don't even care about him, do you? You haven't even asked how he is.
Brianna: Why are you hating on me?!
Dekka: Are you that clueless? How do you not understand how irresponsible you are? Right now Orc is running back to the lake with his hands barely holding Jack's blood in. And Drake is probably whipping Diana across the desert.
Brianna: That's not my fault! That's not on me! I was out looking for Drake!

But as soon as the conversation turns relationshippy, her entire tone changes and she's suddenly super nervous.

Dekka: Four months and you haven't even said anything to me.
Brianna: I've talked to you.
Dekka: I told you--I thought I was done for. I mean, I don't scare easy. The pain… It was bad, that's all. And I was dying. I should have died. But I didn't want to die without telling you.
Brianna: Yeah, whatever. [the narration describes her as "shifting from side to side and just about unable to resist the desire to go tearing off at a hundred miles per hour."]
Dekka: I told you I loved you.
Brianna: Uh-huh.
Dekka: And you said nothing.
…
Dekka You're not gay. You don't like girls.
Brianna: I don't think so.
Dekka: Do you like boys?
Brianna: I don't know, jeez. I made out with Jack a couple of times. But that's because I was bored.
Dekka: Bored.
Brianna: Yeah. And it didn't help that much.
…
Dekka: All this time… why didn't you just tell me?
Brianna: What?
Dekka: I swear to God I'm going to kill you if you keep playing dumb!
Brianna: I like boys, okay? I think. I guess. Probably. I mean, I'm just thirteen! I know it's the FAYZ and all, but I'm really just… a kid.
Dekka: … You are, aren't you? I forget. I forget.
Brianna: I mean, it's like, you know, I have a crush on Sam or whatever, like every other girl--well, except you, I guess--but it's not like that. It's like… you know… I just like being The Breeze. Capital T, Capital B.
Dekka: I forget, Brianna. I mean, I see you do stuff that's so crazy brave… And I see how Sam depends on you. How everyone does. And I see you run into a fight with Drake and, wow, I mean, I look at you and you're, like, everything I ever wanted in a girlfriend. And I forget you're still just a kid.
Brianna: I'm not that young. … I mean, maybe in a couple of years.

So that's a lot of "I guess"es and "I don't know"s for someone who isn't inclined to seem unsure about anything. The major thing I get from that conversation is that Breeze assumes she likes guys because she's… supposed to? But she has no idea if she's totally straight or not because she's 13 and would rather kill stuff than go on dates. Is she way more comfortable being physically affectionate and flirting with guys? Yeah, definitely, because that's what's "normal" (even in the FAYZ). Did she also tell Dekka that maybe in a couple years they could try dating? Yep, she definitely did. In LIGHT when she gets hurt, it's Dekka who carries her, and it's Dekka who holds her body while Jack stands apart from them. Also the author of the series has referred to Dekka and Breeze as one of the series OTPs in a list where every other couple was canon, so idk man I just feel like Breeze is a tiny bit gay. Too bad she's dead and Dekka will never have any happiness ever the end.

omg this started out as a real essay but then I just ruined it at the end there, sorry.