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fayzedandconfused) wrote2013-04-05 11:32 am
fayzedandconfused) wrote2013-04-05 11:32 am
STATUS AND CR STUFF
OKAY SO things
♣ Breeze died! Really horribly! She tried so, so hard to be a badass gaiaphage murderer, but it just wasn't enough. There was nothing she could have done to change the outcome (okay, well, there are things she could have done, but things still would have been horrible regardless) but in her mind, dying while fighting the gaiaphage = she failed! She was not strong enough or fast enough to do her job. She let Sam and all the other kids down and she's not even sure whether they survived. She knows that Jack died, and he was fine the last time she saw him, so that's even more added guilt.
♣ On top of this, she is left with the knowledge that her death was prooobably caught on tape and that her mom could very well have seen it. Added to it is the fact that a couple days before her death, Breeze was interviewed by the freaking Today Show and admitted to not only wanting to mutilate and kill Drake, but also bragged that she had killed other people (this is a total lie unless you count coyotes and giant killer bugs as people). The "LOL" thing? Totally happened. Her mom definitely saw that. So she's afraid that her family now thinks of her as a horrible person, not a hero, like she wanted. '-' SHE'S ALSO… angry at her mom for sending her away in the first place, and feels guilty for being angry, and oh no everything is fucking terrible.
♣ Breeze never actually believed she was going to die. She told people it might happen, but she didn't really think about it happening as an actual possibility. Now she's left in Camp with this knowledge that she did actually Die For Real and she has no idea how to process or deal with it. Even though she's technically the dead one, it kind of feels like all of her family and friends from home are dead (I mean she'll never see them again, so they might as well be), so she's not only dealing with the knowledge that she died, but also grieving over all these relationships that she never truly believed she was going to lose.
SO OKAY WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??
Breeze is going to be kind of a wreck for a while! She is going to try to deal with what happened, but lbr it's not like she ever learned how to cope with feelings or grief in a healthy way. She's going to be trying to distract herself so she won't have to process anything, she won't be sleeping a lot so she'll be trying to work herself into exhaustion before she does sleep, she won't be eating as much and is probably gonna lose some weight and just generally look sickly for a while, and she's probably going to end up dealing with things the way she usually does, by acting out and being self-destructive.
She will eventually be able to start moving forward and making plans etc etc, but it's going to be slow going right now and her behavior in the future will probably affect her relationships with people, which is why I'm posting this here. She might be alternately clingy and avoidant with people, or mouth off to them more than usual, or I don't even know it really depends on how people attempt to interact with her. Ifff anyone wants to talk things out with me or try to work something out re: how they want this to go, we can do that here or you can message me at sa22ybaskets@gmail, either emailing or gchatting me is fine. '3'
♣ Breeze died! Really horribly! She tried so, so hard to be a badass gaiaphage murderer, but it just wasn't enough. There was nothing she could have done to change the outcome (okay, well, there are things she could have done, but things still would have been horrible regardless) but in her mind, dying while fighting the gaiaphage = she failed! She was not strong enough or fast enough to do her job. She let Sam and all the other kids down and she's not even sure whether they survived. She knows that Jack died, and he was fine the last time she saw him, so that's even more added guilt.
♣ On top of this, she is left with the knowledge that her death was prooobably caught on tape and that her mom could very well have seen it. Added to it is the fact that a couple days before her death, Breeze was interviewed by the freaking Today Show and admitted to not only wanting to mutilate and kill Drake, but also bragged that she had killed other people (this is a total lie unless you count coyotes and giant killer bugs as people). The "LOL" thing? Totally happened. Her mom definitely saw that. So she's afraid that her family now thinks of her as a horrible person, not a hero, like she wanted. '-' SHE'S ALSO… angry at her mom for sending her away in the first place, and feels guilty for being angry, and oh no everything is fucking terrible.
♣ Breeze never actually believed she was going to die. She told people it might happen, but she didn't really think about it happening as an actual possibility. Now she's left in Camp with this knowledge that she did actually Die For Real and she has no idea how to process or deal with it. Even though she's technically the dead one, it kind of feels like all of her family and friends from home are dead (I mean she'll never see them again, so they might as well be), so she's not only dealing with the knowledge that she died, but also grieving over all these relationships that she never truly believed she was going to lose.
SO OKAY WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??
Breeze is going to be kind of a wreck for a while! She is going to try to deal with what happened, but lbr it's not like she ever learned how to cope with feelings or grief in a healthy way. She's going to be trying to distract herself so she won't have to process anything, she won't be sleeping a lot so she'll be trying to work herself into exhaustion before she does sleep, she won't be eating as much and is probably gonna lose some weight and just generally look sickly for a while, and she's probably going to end up dealing with things the way she usually does, by acting out and being self-destructive.
She will eventually be able to start moving forward and making plans etc etc, but it's going to be slow going right now and her behavior in the future will probably affect her relationships with people, which is why I'm posting this here. She might be alternately clingy and avoidant with people, or mouth off to them more than usual, or I don't even know it really depends on how people attempt to interact with her. Ifff anyone wants to talk things out with me or try to work something out re: how they want this to go, we can do that here or you can message me at sa22ybaskets@gmail, either emailing or gchatting me is fine. '3'
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she just might not be herself for a while
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I KNOW I'M SLOW but we should thread it out somewhere.
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